Parishioners at a large church in Dallas, Texas were concerned that their pastor had exhausted themes for his widely acclaimed “Kingdom” series, having preached on Kingdom Men, Kingdom Women, and Kingdom Kids.

They were therefore immensely relieved when their Pastor announced that he had several more Kingdoms in the making: Kingdom Drivers would be the first, followed by Kingdom Highways, Kingdom Restaurants, and Kingdom Cemeteries. Each Kingdom would be divided into three sub-kingdoms: animals, vegetables and minerals.

The pastor said he had received his leading for “Kingdom Drivers” immediately after a Sunday service. Sitting in his office, sipping tea, and overlooking one of the large parking lots behind the church, he was amazed and alarmed at what he saw. People, and they were mostly men, were insisting on the right of way for their vehicles, even when it was obvious that they were well in the back of the line. The morning’s sermon on “Patience and Forgiveness” seemed to be lost in the squeal of tires and the blowing of horns. Things were not going well in the parking lot and those responsible for directing traffic were upset and yelling at the drivers. Something needed to be done and a series of sermons on “Kingdom Drivers” seemed the clear answer.

Kingdom drivers, the pastor mused, should be like the chariot drivers of the Old Testament. They need to have an affinity with their vehicles much like those ancient drivers had with their horses and chariots. Many Texas drivers (and elsewhere as well) have affectionate nicknames for their trucks or cars, like Betsy, Elsie, or Erma, although women drivers may call theirs Hulk, Bubba or Muscleman.

“There would need to be a text and it should strike right to the heart (or battery) of the matter,” thought the pastor, as he began his Bible Gateway search for a suitable passage.

“I’ll start with Genesis 41:43: ‘He had him [Joseph] ride in a chariot as his second-in-command, and people shouted before him, ‘Make way!’ Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt.’ I want them to see how blowing their horns is the same as saying ‘Make way!’ But I’ll tell them that they cannot be a Kingdom Driver by insisting on their own way.”

“I’ll also need some overheads, starting with this picture of a chariot and its horses and driver.” [A slide of a chariot, two horses, and the driver is then put on an overhead.]

“First, note the chariot driver: He is using the proper equipment and because seat belts were not used at the time, he is holding the reins tightly with both hands. Note also that he has a helmet on, so it is obvious that he is expecting trouble. Any wannabe Kingdom Driver must have the appropriate equipment in his or her possession and use. With suitable gear, he can ‘make way’ legitimately through the thicket of vehicles.

“Now about the horses: I would guess that they are the equivalent of a Ford 150 with high octane gas. They are shod with the equivalent of Michelin tires, which can’t be beat for smooth ride, grip and tread-life for high mileage situations. Similarly, Kingdom Drivers need to be concerned about their feet, so Deuteronomy 29:5 should be helpful: Yet the Lord says, ‘During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet.’”

“Finally, about the chariot: This is equivalent to an SUV and matches perfectly the Ford 150 as well, so either can be used. Many wannabe Kingdom Drivers who are male prefer that their wives use an SUV for added protection in parking lots.

“My application will be something like this: Most accidents occur within a mile or two of home and it thus behooves drivers from further distances to be especially cautious in parking lots. Indeed, a parking lot is like our soul—it needs diligence and protection from Satan (wayward drivers) and backslidden Baptists, who cut off cars in their haste to get out of the parking lot.

“It is not only our horses (vehicles) that need attention, it is also thoughtful to consider those of other people exiting the parking lot. One should therefore exit slowly and with a smile of determination to let the other person do what you would like to do—get out of the lot first.

“Although Kingdom Drivers are somewhat rare, especially in Texas, with prayer and the occasional use of the horn, accompanied by the proper use of the turn signals, our church can become an example for all sojourners at other church parking lots in Texas.”

August, 2016
Waco, Texas