C.S. Lewis had a fantastic imagination, so let us also follow his lead and envision a large Firm that manages his quotes, i.e. if you want to quote Lewis, you must buy from the Firm. It is rumored that, for tax purposes, the Firm is located on an off-shore island but, of course, all islands are off-shore, so it is uncertain (and unimportant) just where it is located. The point is that you must contact the Firm (www.buylewisquotes.com) and get their permission before you quote Mr. Lewis or, in some cases, quote someone who quotes Lewis. Furthermore, the Firm has determined that some unscrupulous people and publishers are copying images of Lewis and placing them on billboards or in chat rooms. While the Firm acknowledges that this is presently not illegal, they strongly advise against it because all such photos are copyrighted by them with watermarks making it easy to determine their authenticity. People who take part in such infringements may be subject to a $250,000 fine, the standard penalty determined by an International Board of Copyright Holders.
There are other issues that the Firm wishes to address. One is the matter of Prefaces and Forewords in derivative works. Some are not being written by Walter Hooper and, although the Firm has no control over such matters, it is unethical to engage in Preface and Foreword matters without at least notifying the Firm and Walter.
But the good news for our hopeful clients is that in every future holiday season the Firm will offer specials on C.S. Lewis quotes and related matters. The savings will be considerable, often up to 70% off the suggested retail prices. However, there are certain restrictions in place that should be noted as you review the sales items. As of September, 2014:
- No quotations may exceed 25 words, excluding prepositions, articles and punctuation marks.
- Generally words will be 50c each in a quote, unless compounds are quoted, in which case they will be 75c.
- Any Latin quote by Lewis will cost 10c a word, untranslated; translated words will be 25c.
- Any quote of Weston, as in Perelandra, will be 35c per word unless it is a reduplicated form, as in ‘talkee, talkee’, in which case the price will also be duplicated.
- Quotes of Maleldil will be $1 per word, for up to three words and $5 for a full sentence, including questions.
- Quoting an eldila is not allowed because such a quote is spiritual and generally not for sale. However sentences may be paraphrased for $10 each, not to exceed 25 words.
- It will be permissible to quote Walter Hooper quoting Lewis, but only if Warnie Lewis is not mentioned on the same page. Such second degree quotes will be discounted at 5c per word.
- Although the Firm considers any quote of Kathryn Lindskoog (as in The C.S. Lewis Hoax) a lie, we have no authority over such quotes.
- It will not be admissible to quote Tolkien talking to Lewis outside the content of the Inklings. The Inklings, although not an “Inner Ring”, must be treated with complete respect.
- It will not be permissible to quote anyone referring to Mrs. Moore.
- Caution should be taken on quoting Lewis about hell or purgatory. There is considerable confusion about his theology at this point and the Firm does not wish to profit from authors who take advantage of the argument.
- This month only any sentence that includes the name “George MacDonald” may be quoted for free, although if the name occurs in a title of a book or article it will cost $5.
- Aslan quotes, i.e. with Aslan speaking, will be charged at a diminishing rate: $5, the first time, $4 the second, and so on, such that the 6th (and higher) use of the name will be free.
- A number of people have contacted us to request quotes by Malcolm. We have spent time discussing and praying about the matter and the answer by the majority of the Firm is a resounding “No”! Malcolm is far too serious to be quoted.
- However, quotes by Screwtape will be free this month only.
Copying images of the Kilns, Madalene (or Madalen) College, Joy with a rifle, the toolshed, Lady Dunbar, Paxford, Molly Miller, Warnie, or Lewis’s gravestone, are prohibited by Firm law. In addition, some people have used pictures of “the wardrobe”. This is highly problematic due to considerable academic argument over what the authentic wardrobe looked like and where it is now located. It simply is not NICE to suggest that you can identify the real one.
There are many photos of C.S. Lewis and his venue in circulation: For example, Warnie and Jack with their mother, Jack on the staircase in Little Lea, Warnie, Albert Lewis and Jack, Cherbourg School, Campbell College, Malvern College, Arthur Greeves, Lewis and his friend “Paddy” Moore, the original Kilns, and a group of cousins at Glenmachan House. Although some are in the public domain and no longer under the Firm’s scrutiny, we advise against copying them.
There are a few other things to note before turning to our future news and sale items.
Some authors have claimed that Lewis was a wannabe Roman Catholic and even had an audience with the Pope to declare him as one. This is not true, even though one certain miracle has been falsely attributed to him. We have consulted the Archbishop of Canterbury about possible legal actions.
Other authors have unscrupulously engaged in phantasies about Narnia, claiming to go “further up and further in”. This is heresy and comparable to writing a sequel to the book of Revelation.
Now to note some future Specials (available for you before Christmas):
- A statue of the Green Woman holding the little Green Book: $24.99, this month only.
- Bricks from the kiln: $5 each, $10 if “C.S. Lewis” is engraved on one.
- Splinters from the toolshed: approximately one inch by 8 inches–$1 each.
- Ashes from Lewis’s pipe: 50c a thimble full.
- A plastic piece of toast with Screwtape’s name engraved on it: $5.
- A beautiful 6 inch by 24 inch sign with the word “Tao” in calligraphy.
- A bundle of little known letters to an Irish lady: $10 per letter.
- Paintings of the secret country and Shadowland: $25 each.
- A color picture of a beam of sunlight shining through a crack: $5 or $3 in B&W’
- An unpublished poem by Lewis (these are approved by Walter Hooper direct).
That is the extent of our offers for this month.